SOCIAL PROBLEMS AMONG TEENAGERS

A social problem is a condition that at least some people in a community view as being undesirable. Everyone would agree about some social problems, such as murders and DWI traffic deaths. Other social problems may be viewed as such by certain groups of people. Teenagers who play loud music in a public park obviously do not view it as a problem, but some other people may consider it an undesirable social condition. Some nonsmokers view smoking as an undesirable social condition that should be banned or restricted in public buildings.       Every newspaper is filled with stories about undesirable social conditions. Examples include crime, violence, drug abuse, and environmental problems. Such social problems can be found at the local, state, national and international levels.

      There are many social problems that teenagers go threw.  Drugs and Teenagers Drug use is the increasing problem among teenagers in today’s high schools. Most drug use begins in the preteen and teenage years, these years most crucial in the maturation process. During these years adolescents are faced with difficult tasks of discovering their self identity, clarifying their sexual roles, assenting independence, learning to cope with authority and searching for goals that would give their lives meaning. Drugs are readily, adolescents are curious and venerable, and there is peer pressure to experiment, and there us a temptation to escape from conflicts. The use of drugs by teenagers is the result of a combination of factors such as peer pressure, curiosity, and availability. Drugs addiction among adolescents in turn leads to depression and suicide. 
      One of the most important reasons of teenage drug usage is peer pressure. Peer pressure represents social influences that effect adolescents, it can have a positive or a negative effect, depending on person’s social group and one can follow one path of the other. We are greatly influenced by the people around us.
      According to the lecturer from Faculty of Leadership and Management (FKP), Islamic Science University of Malaysia (USIM), Madam Marina Muneera Abdul Muttalib said that, in today’s schools drugs are very common, peer pressure usually is the reason for their usage. If the people in the social group use drugs there will be pressure a direct or indirect pressure from them. A person may be offered to try drugs, which is direct pressure. Indirect pressure is when someone sees everyone around him using drugs and he might think that there is nothing wrong with using drugs. Person might try drugs just to fit in the social norms, even if a person had no intentions of using drugs one might do it just to be considered “cool” by his friends. 

      Today drugs are considered to be an acceptable social phenomenon by many teenagers. Here is a personal example of drug use from a teenager, “When I started using, was only on weekends, at parties. I used drugs ‘recreationally’ and therefore thought I had no addiction problem. I used drugs like nicotine, marijuana or LSD to be happy or to have fun. I needed drugs. I kept using drugs, I used drugs like marijuana to fit socially. I had problems in my life, emotionally, that drugs only seemed to solve. Drugs made my problems worse. I started snorting cocaine. I injected heroin into my veins. I almost died. I was addicted.”

Why Marriages Fail

"Wasn't marriage, like life, unstimulating and unprofitable and somewhat empty when too well ordered and protected and guarded. Wasn't it finer, more splendid, more nourishing, when it was, like life itself, a mixture of the sordid and the magnificent; of mud and stars; of earth and flowers; of love and hate and laughter and tears and ugliness and beauty and hurt." ~ Edna Ferber, Show Boat, 1926

Marriage is more like an adventure trip that two people board themselves on! The journey of life that the two of them have to travel is more like a roller coaster ride, full of ups and downs. Sometimes you'll be smiling and sometimes you'll be crying! The answer to the question, "Why marriages fail?" lies on how we handle the ups and downs of our married life! As mentioned in the quote, the real beauty of marriage is when you take it as life. Because even life gives you a lot of reasons to cry and feel shattered, many a times you think that life ain't working for you…what do you do then? Leave life? No, you continue to live, hoping that sooner or later things will fall into the right place. The same is the kind of attitude that you need to adopt when it comes to marriage. Sadly, that's not the case and that's the reason of why do most marriages fail!

Top Reasons Why Marriages Fail

The number of divorces have been increasing day by day and the rate has almost gone up by 50% or more. With the modern generation being so open minded, understanding and independent it's really a shocking scenario when it comes to statistics on divorce rates. What can one make out from this? Why do marriages fail more now as compared to the past generation? Has the modern approach and independent mindset got to do something with it? Let's find out what are the main reasons why marriages fail. Do you find yourself encountering the following sentences? Read out and know what should be the ideal reaction!

I Don't Want to Understand: Lack of trust and understanding is the most top rated reason among the top 10 reasons why marriages fail! Being adamant to look from the same perspective and avoiding to put yourself in your partner's shoes is why people drift away from each other. What you need to remember is that all though united as one, you still have a thinking of separate individuals and it's natural to face conflict. Being rigid and stubborn can only make things worse. You have to understand that if needed, sacrificing for your spouse will only strengthen the bond and love. After all, you promised to be with your spouse through thick and thin....right?

Lying Comes So Naturally to You: If you have this mindset that every clarification that comes from your spouse's end is a lie, then you really really need to come across the meaning of "TRUST." Trust is the base of all relationships. If you think you can sustain a happy relationship without trust, am sorry my friend, that's like swimming in a pool without water! No matter what the reason be behind your lack of trust, may be you don't believe your spouse or you have caught him/her lying in the past, the bottom line is to let go of all that's gone and form a new bond of trust and belief. Just judging your spouse based on assumptions derived from the past is so very wrong. Even in the Bible in 1 Cor. 4:5 Paul has warned against attempting to judge the thoughts and motives of others.

Where Have You Been When I Needed You: When we find that special person and decide to spend the rest of our lives with, there are a great deal of expectations that we tend to expect from our spouse. Unlike olden days where only the man used to work and the woman took care of the house, today things have changed. With both the spouses working and having an independent social and professional life, it becomes difficult to be with your partner every time when he/she physically or emotionally needs you. Both the man and wife should understand this and try to give time to each other. At the same time their should be a mutual understanding as to why is one not able to meet the expectation.

Why Does Everything Have to Be Your Way: When you start thinking in terms of "Your way" and "my way" It's a warning alarm to relocate your thoughts and approach a common mindset and thinking which knows only one way, which is "OUR WAY"! Independent thinking to some extent is all right, but when you are married, the prime focus should be on united thinking. Even the Bible quotes, "In the Lord, however, woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God."I Corinthians 11:3-12

You're Not the Person I Married: If you often say this to your spouse, instead of thinking that he/she has changed, most people fail to think what made them change! This is another main reasons of why marriages fail or become an unhappy marriage. Deciding to get married is a mature decision and you need to show that maturity in your relationship too. We all are well aware of the fact that with marriage comes great responsibilities, you need to be stable financially to be secure. The casual attitude turns into serious commitments in life therefore making the person more responsible. Sadly, the pressure may tend to overcome the romance and the lack of understanding the reason and causes lead to differences in the married couple.

I Don't Need to Go Through All This!: This attitude is another step which takes you closer to a failed marriage. By saying that you don't need to go through all this means that you are open to escape from the person, and eventually from the marriage. Instead the attitude that one should need to develop, is to work out how to make things better and not to consider "escape" as an option! In life too, no one wants to go through the lows and difficulties, but working them out and not letting go is what makes life worthwhile!

I Can Find Someone Better!: I personally believe that when people have more options, the urge to stick around fades away! That's one of the reasons why 90% of the divorce reasons are due to infidelity! It is obvious that we want to see only the best of our spouse, but then it's not completely accepting the person, right? It's rightly said, "Always marry a person who understands that you are not perfect and still wants to spend the rest of his/her life with you." When taking vows in front of the alter, and uniting in the holy matrimony, most of the couple fail to realize that they are united with the person forever. The Bible quotes the instance when Jesus was confronted by the scribes and Pharisees about the divorce issue, He brought them back to this foundational truth and said, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate" (Matt. 19:5-6). I am sure if the 'other options' were eliminated from the world and people have the mindset of only 1 person in their lives, they would choose to stick around and work it out instead of letting go!

You are Blaming Me for This?: Aaahh...the never ending blame game!! Things go wrong for the couple when instead of showing their mature side to team up and work things out, they are busy blaming each other for their miseries! If blaming ever solved the problem, go ahead, blame all the more! But then we all know it never lessens the problem, in fact, makes the matters worse! The couples end up saying mean and hurtful things to each other. "Gentle words bring life and health; A deceitful tongue crushes the spirit."~ (Proverbs 15:4)

There is No Intimacy…You Don't Need Me Anymore: Lack of physical intimacy is another reason why marriages fail. Unlike olden days where sex was saved until marriage, these days people indulge in sexual activities before marriage. Many of you won't accept it but knowing your spouse too much before marriage results in creating a sense of boredom and lack of sexual attraction towards your partner. Until both or at least one of the partners make conscious efforts to do something interested and experiment in the bedroom. The lack of this effort leads to marriage breaking issues like having an extra marital affair and cheating.

I Don't Fit in Your Life: Eventually after all the above mentioned aspects of marital problems, a thinking develops in the mind that either of the partners don't fit into each others life! When this mindset sinks in, all you would do is find ways to get out of the relationship instead of adapting conscious efforts of working it out. Fighting over short term issues and blaming each other keeps the once madly in love couple so busy that they forget to see each others positive aspect and focus only and only on the negative side.

I am sure by now you may have understood that the reasons why marriages fail, lies in small issues and high egos. It really concerns me as to how can you hate the person to such an extent that you want to get separated! Or may be…you never loved the person. To conclude this article, all I would like to quote is my favorite verse from the Bible, "Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love doesn't demand it's own way. Love is not irritable and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged." So learn to love the person you married and know how blissful the unity is.

Troubled Youth

Childhood and adolescence are crucial stages in human development. In our society, most children and adolescents grow up in a healthy environment, integrate well into society and are able to have their needs met. The majority obtain the resources they require for their health, safety, well-being and development from their parents, families and communities.
However, a minority of children and adolescents are unfortunately living in great distress. Their problems are sometimes severe enough to impede their development as well as their ability to find a place in society. These difficulties may take on several forms:

• A neglected child who does not receive vital health care;
• Another who is left unattended for long periods of time (considering the child’s age);
• A young victim of sexual abuse;
• A mistreated child;
• A teenager with behavioral problems or a drug problem;
• A suicidal youth.

The list is long, and behind every case are a young person and family in distress.
YPC offer a variety of services to children, adolescents and their families. These include preventive, screening and intervention services that focus on the following problems:

• Developmental delays in children
• Violent and aggressive behavior of children and adolescents
• Academic failure and dropout
• Drug addiction
• Mental health problems
• Adjustment difficulties following family breakups
• Hyperactivity
• Difficult parent/child relationships

Each year, approximately 100,000 calls are placed to youth protection center by parents who are at the end of their rope or neighbors, teachers, police officers and health professionals who have cause for concern. Of these calls, which are often cries for help, about half or 50,000 are reported to youth protection services. Following an assessment, approximately 25,000 will be followed up because the safety or development of the child is deemed to be endangered. Even when the report is not acted upon under the Youth Protection Act, we know that in most cases the need for services is great and the level of distress severe.
Various problems can endanger the safety and development of a child. These include negligence, serious A6?behavioral disorders, sexual abuse, physical abuse, abandonment, deprivation of basic necessities, risk of physical or mental harm and exploitation.
When a youth centre is not in a position to intervene because the situation of the child or adolescent does not meet the criteria set by law, the individuals involved are usually referred to a YPC so they can have access to the services they need.

Domestic Violence

Violence against women is most often associated with physical abuse. However, violence may take many forms including psychological abuse, verbal abuse and sexual abuse. Financial domination is another form of violence. For example, a man who controls the expenses and income of his partner without her consent is engaging in financial abuse.

. . . and has serious consequences.

Violence has serious human, social and economic consequences both for the women who endure it and for society as a whole. Violence is detrimental to women’s personal and financial independence and can do serious damage to their physical and mental well-being.
The women, men and children who are caught up in a cycle of violence need appropriate support and treatment to help them break free.

Statistics

• In 2000, approximately 16,000 people in Quebec were victims of crimes against persons in a domestic context. Eighty-five percent of the victims of these crimes were women (Ministère de la Sécurité publique, La violence conjugal : statisticians 2000 [Domestic Violence: 2000 Statistics]).
• Women are the main victims of domestic homicides. From 1995 to 2000, 95 women were killed by their partners, ex-partners or boyfriends, which represents an average of 16.8 deaths per year in Québec (Ministère de la Sécurité publique, La violence conjugale : statistiques 2000 [Domestic Violence: 2000 Statistics]).
• Young women from 15 to 24 have the highest risk of being killed by their partners or boyfriends (Statistics Canada 2000). This age group is the second most likely to report domestic violence to the police (Ministère de la Sécurité publique, La violence conjugal : statisticians 2000 [Domestic Violence: 2000 Statistics]).
• Over a period of one year, over 100,000 women in Quebec, or 6% of women over 18 who have a live-in partner, were victims of physical violence at the hands of their partner (Institut de la statistique du Québec, 2002).
• Most children of women who are victims of domestic violence are present during acts of physical abuse: 75% witness the violence; 20% participate in it and 11% are also victims of the abuse. (Larouche, 1987; Sudermann and Jaffe, 1999).

How Is Domestic Violence Expressed?

Domestic violence does not suddenly appear in a relationship. It begins progressively and sometimes very subtly. Domestic violence can be expressed in many ways. A violent man may use physical force (e.g., hitting his partner or throwing things), but he may also make off-colour jokes, resort to blackmail or make unsubstantiated accusations. Sometimes he humiliates, insults, threatens or shouts at his partner. He may control her activities, monitoring who she sees and who she speaks to. He may keep tabs on her expenses and on how much money she has at her disposal. He may also resort to violence during sexual relations.

Examples of Domestic Violence:

• Constantly criticizing his partner as well as her tastes and abilities
• Putting down her friends or forbidding her to see friends or family
• Controlling what she does or what she wears
• Making fun of her physical appearance or sexual performance
• Shouting for no good reason
• Threatening suicide if she attempts to leave or using her kids to get to her

Social Problems faced by Women

Early Marriage

Early marriage affects women's health status adversely. A vast number of girls are married at the teenage. It leads to teenage pregnancy and various physiological problems. In rural India almost 60 per cent of girls are married before they are 18. Nearly 60 per cent of married girls bear children before they are 19. Almost one third of all babies are born with low birth weight. Thus, young girls are introduced to the sexual life and to the reproduction processes at the teenage. Because of malnutrition, over burden of work illiteracy, ignorance of the sex-behavior these pregnant girls take high risk of life. Around 10 to 15% of the annual births are from these adolescent mothers. However, most of their babies suffer from malnutrition, under weight and risk of mortality. In India, women have on an average 8-9 pregnancy and they spend around 80% of their reproductive years in pregnancy and lactation. Study shows that in the low income group pregnant women have deficiency of 1,100 calories and lactating women 1,000 calories.
Women of the lower socio-economic groups gain only around 3-5 kg during pregnancy, which is far less than the required weight. Anemia in pregnancy accounts directly 15 to 20% of all material deaths in India. The maternal-mortality according to official report, is 400 to 500 per 1, 00,000 births. However, this figure is as high as 1,000 to 1,200 to 1,200 in some rural areas. Again, more than 71% and 29% of the deliveries in the rural and urban areas took place without trained personnel (NPPW, 1988). In most of the rural areas, Medical Termination of pregnancy services is not available. Besides, women are not aware about the Medical Termination of Pregnancy Act, 1971 that has made abortion legal. Hence, illegal abortions by incompetent persons continue, resulting in abortion-related mortality and morbidity as serious problems.

How to Become More Social

Being social is not a difficult art, you just need to be more aware of your surrounding, and the people you are with. For example you can't start talking about roast beef in the company of people who are vegetarians. Almost all of our knowledge is acquired, we are not pre-programed to do anything, so don't let social anxiety hold you back, and don't give the excuse that you were born this way.

Tips for Being Social

The first step to success is failure, and I am not trying to be poetic, it's the truth, in order to be successful you need to fail, otherwise you will not cherish your triumph. If you have seen the Discovery channel, and seen how the lion stalks the prey and catches it, what a awesome sight it is. To remind you, the 10 minute footage is captured after filming hours and hours of unsuccessful attempts by the lion to catch the prey. The message is don't give up, you probably didn't become who you are in one day and most likely you will need more than one day to become a social butterfly.

First Step
Many people who want to know how to become more social and outgoing say that they don't know what to talk about with other people. My answer to that is at least start with a simple 'hello' or 'hi', you see a person you want to talk to, passing you in the hallway or climbing the stairs, just say hi. Most people will return your greeting and if someone doesn't, it will not kill you. One of the best dating tips is, that which doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Conversation
If people stop talking when you are around it's most likely because you say the wrong things or you say things in the wrong way, probably you are dogmatic with your conversation. First rule of any conversation is to respect the view and opinion of the other person. If a group of people are talking, interrupt at the opportune time and stick to the subject that is going on, this will help you become more social around people. If the group is talking about the latest Leonardo Di Caprio movie, you talk about him, don't interrupt and start talking about sports. Group dynamics dictate that you either join them or leave them alone.

Look the Part
You get invited to a formal dinner and you show up in your torn jeans and low cut t-shirt, you will only end up getting cold stares. People will only talk to other people who are just like them or better than them, so even though you idolize the 70s rock stars, don't wear torn jeans for a formal event. It is said that what you wear is who you are, wearing nice clothes will boost your confidence and help you in your endeavor to become more social. If you don't believe me, next time you buy a new jeans or shirt notice the bounce in your step when you are wearing them for the first time.

Empathy
One relationship advice for women and men is, more people will like you and would like to be around you if you empathize with them. For example the person next to you forgot to do the assignment, don't taunt them by showing off how you finished yours. Let them know that you understand their reason for not getting the work done, encourage them to do better next time, or better still, offer your assistance. If your friends dog dies in a car crash, tell them how sorry you are, don't rattle off statistics about how many dogs get killed by cars, even if you know the numbers.

Share
Sharing is one of the simplest ways to socialize with other people, people will take to you easily, if you have something to offer. For better understanding, if you are traveling by public transport offer your seat to someone who is standing. When eating lunch offer a sandwich to the person sitting next to you, it doesn't make a difference if the person accepts or not, the point is you offered.

Be Fun Loving
I am not trying to tell you to be funny, just trying to say, be fun loving, enjoy what other people like to do. Try out some awesome pick up lines, according to a recent survey, women like them even if they sound corny. If people around you like going dancing go with them, even though if you think you have two left feet. It's not about the dance it's about being with people and experiencing things together.

If you still aren't sure how to become more social, joining hobby classes or registering on social networking sites to make friends online is a good way to start interacting with other people. See the Will Smith movie 'Hitch', draw inspiration from it and be who you are, just do some cosmetic changes to your character..

Happiness in Society

Otherwise, in your unhappiness, it won’t matter what good intentions you have, you will only spread misery in the world. Once you are miserable, knowingly or unknowingly, you only spread misery. You cannot help it. Being happy or unhappy is actually your choice.

People have chosen to be unhappy because they think that by being unhappy they will get something. It is being taught that if you suffer, you will go to heaven. If you are a suffering human being, what will you do in heaven anyway? Hell will be more of a home for you. Once you are unhappy, whatever you get, what does it matter? If you are happy, if you don’t get anything, what does it matter? This is not a philosophy; this is your true nature. By nature you want to be happy. This is not a teaching I am trying to give you, "Be happy, be happy." Every creature wants to be happy. Everything that you are doing, every single act you are performing is in pursuit of happiness in some way.

For example, why would you want to serve people? Serving people gives you happiness; that is why. Somebody wants to wear good clothes; somebody wants to make a lot of money, because that gives them happiness. Whatever every human being is doing on this planet, it does not matter what, even if he is giving away his life to somebody, he is doing it because it gives him happiness. So happiness is the fundamental goal of life. Why do you want to go to heaven? Only because somebody has told you that if you go to heaven, you will be happy.

After doing all that you are doing, if happiness is not happening, somewhere you have missed the ABCs of life. Somewhere, the fundamentals of life have been missed. When you were a child, you were simply happy. Without doing anything, you were happy. Then somewhere along the way, you lost this. Why did you lose it? You got deeply identified with many things around you, your body, your mind.

What you call your mind is actually just the stuff you have picked up from social situations around you. Depending upon what kind of society you have been exposed to, that is the kind of mind you have acquired. Everything in your mind right now is something you picked up from outside. This nonsense did not come with you; you picked it up and got identified with it. You got so identified with it, now it is causing you misery. You can collect any kind of garbage you want. It is okay. As long as you are not identified with it, there is no problem.

This body is not yours; you have picked it up from the earth. You were born with a tiny body, which your parents gave you. After that, you ate plants and animals and grew. You borrowed it from the earth; it is not yours. For a while you have to use it, so enjoy it and go. But you have become so deeply identified with it, you think this is you. No wonder you suffer. The basis of all this misery is, you have established yourself in untruth. You are deeply identified with that which you are not. That is why the suffering.

The whole process of spirituality is only to dis-identify with that which you are not. When you don’t know what you really are, can you search for it? If you search, only your imagination will run wild. If you start thinking, "Who am I?" somebody will tell you that you are God’s child. Somebody else will tell you that you are the devil’s child. Somebody might tell you something else, endless beliefs… Imagination runs wild. So, the only thing that you can do is, whatever you are not, start discounting that. When everything is discounted there is something, which cannot be discounted. When you arrive at that, you will see, there is no reason for misery in this world.